cloudy. i miss you! ):

it's difficult working with people who dont know you well at all. and it's tiring. they told me to quit doing the job. and now, i really feel like quitting. sometimes i work my arse off for the job and get such a meagre pay and even get TSKed at and shouted at by customers who dont get it at all. and all i gotta do is put up a plastic smile and go, THANK YOU. although inside, i really feel like tearing her bloody freaking face apart. :/ baby, you understand how that feels? YEAH. that's service for you.

i miss cloudy now. and when i'm sad i think of her ): because we try to cheer each other up when we're down. but i dont see my clouds! ): i dont see her anymore and i miss her like crap. cloudyy... where are you?? i've got smth to tell you.. ):

at work, there was this guy from the teochew restaurant next door. he's like twenty plus? cloudy said i was being nice when he asked me to help him make cup noodles and i obliged. it was just a simple gesture. but i think he misread it. he told me yesterday that he wanted to be my friend. i said urm. ok. and he asked for my number. and i didnt wanna give it to him. in fact, i was freaked out. babes, i'm not overreacting. it's just that i dont know how to handle such situations! i'm a sucker at that and i've got too many weird incidences to back this up. i'm sorry. i didnt mean to be mean alright? you're just being too weirdly nice to me. and i'm scared. sorry.

you guys dont understand how i feel cause you've not been in my shoes. the weird instances didnt make me stronger. they just made me wary of the people arnd me. i wish i had immunity and a protection to everything. so i wont be sad or be scared no longer. but i wont find my protection anytime soon right? yeah.

i dont know what to do anymore.
i dont.
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